suggestions

this is the "let's get down to business" post. it stays at the top. i was thinking about making a separate blog that people could post on to make suggestions, but i figured this would be the easiest way to do it... so just comment this to make a suggestion for something to review. keep in mind, your comments will be considered, but not necessarily used. use your imagination... i want interesting topics. examples: a movie, an album, a car, an action or event, a picture, a species of animal, a body part, a person (famous or not - could even be you), etc. i will also accept requests for comparative reviews like "butterflies vs. moths". just make sure you keep it detailed in the suggestion. if you want to review "pete", let me know which pete... "pete the dragon", "big pete", the name "pete". i can't review something properly if i don't know what you want me to review. lastly, i need to know who you are... i allow anyone to post for now, but for my personal satisfaction (and also so i can start trouble) you need to let me know who is making the suggestion. if that rule isn't followed, i may have to start allowing only registered users to post. thanks for complying, and remember the motto of any good sociologist when posting... "no topic is too sacred."

...oh snap!

topic: milos' mom last night

for almost two years now, milos' mom has been the butt of many jokes. during that period, she's gone through quite a bit. to be honest, she's been quite a good sport about it too. when it boils down to it, milos' mom is really quite a trooper. however, this review (actually more of a story) is not so much about milos' mom... it's about milos' mom last night. [since i've never actually met milos' mom, this entire story is purely fiction.]

last night:
yesterday started off around 3am with the phone ringing. i wearily rubbed my eyes and reached for the phone. "is this action jake?" the voice asked courteously. i replied with a rough, "ye... ughumm... yes, it is. what's up?" the next words i'd hear would be unbelievable. bill gates had died, and somehow i managed to be the sole recipient of his entire estate. the details of how this came to be are extremely unimportant to the story, so we will skip all that boring garbage (however, knowing that this did occur allows the rest of the story to almost make sense). my first instinct was to start buying things... so i did.

i figured that a farm would be an awesome thing to have but didn't really want to farm it. thus i bought one of everything you'd find on a farm: one cow, one rooster, one plow, one horse, one wheat harvester, etc. i realized that it would take a while for all of my belongings to get there, so i went to the toy store and bought some sea-monkeys to raise in a salty little water solution. when i got them home and "grew" them, i found out just how boring and un-monkey-like they are. in fact, the packaging has them looking more like sea-people. after only minutes of watching these dumb sea-men and sea-women not playing volleyball (or going on picnics or anything they advertised on the box), boredom set in. so i decided to buy something much more ridiculous and fun; i decided to buy a top-of-the-line spaceship to pass the time with.

nasa was happy to oblige. while i was taking a crash course in space flight, the trainer told me to walk across a tempur-pedic mattress [i found out that is why nasa invented them]. he advised me to be careful as, "you'll sink into the mattress with your moon boots on." my obvious response was, "i sank into milos' mom with my moon boots on last night." "oh snap!" said the trainer right back. i paused. for the first time i felt bad about milos' mom being my verbal scapegoat all the time. i called up milos' mom on my cellular phone and had her helicoptered in. i would be sure to make it all up to her.

when she arrived, i asked her who her celebrity crush was so i could fly him in as her personal slave for the day. moments later, ben jones (cooter from dukes of hazzard) would arrive. i introduced him to milos' mom and asked how his flight was. he shrugged disinterestedly and took a sip of the whiskey i had poured for him. at the moment, he was only worried about getting something to eat, so i offered, "you can have some of my space goop from this little package if you want." he obviously replied, "milos' mom had some of my space goop from this little package last night." "oh snap!" i thought and normally would've said, but today i was righting my wrongs. i slapped mr. jones across the face and demanded he leave at once. i apologized to milos' mom and decided to give her a kinder and less risky present. i would buy her a planet and fly her there.

milos' mom had an uncanny knack for making insults as easy as possible. when she chose the planet, i had to grit my teeth so as not to crack jokes; she of course chose uranus. i needed to fix this scenario right away; i'd break down if i couldn't say things like: "there it is, i can see uranus up ahead", "uranus sure is pretty when you get this close", or "in a few moments i'll be touching down on uranus". she must keep her dignity. i urged her to rename her planet, and she agreed to ponder it for a while. as far as i was concerned, the rock was unnamed until she came to a conclusion. the ship blasted off in a roar and rocketed us through space at unfathomable speeds. we arrived shortly and i parked the vessel on "unnamed planet".

we both jumped out of the spacecraft and walked around for a while. we told funny stories, and true to form, i had to bite my tongue on several occasions. then milos' mom did the unthinkable... she took off her helmet. i screamed in mine hoping my eyes had deceived me. things were going so well; i was feeling so good about this gesture. surprisingly, she was fine. her head did not explode, her face didn't freeze, nor did she suffocate. the scientists were wrong; "unnamed planet" has a human-compatible atmosphere. this gift was even better than i had ever imagined.

i took off my helmet, and just as i opened my mouth to tell milos' mom how awesome i thought this was, a strong gust of wind kicked up. i choked on the loose dirt and ice whipping into my face. i covered my mouth and eyes as best as i could, and flailed my arms worriedly for my companion. when the wind died down, i saw she had put her helmet back on and was waiting over by the ship. she said it was too crazy out here and that we should leave. i nodded and hacked up some dust still caught in my throat. i immediately felt bad, and didn't want her to see that i had spit on her gift. i quickly bent over like i was tying my shoe and rubbed it into the ground. she looked back and gave me an inquisitive face which made me remember that you can't tie moon boots. "i wish there were laces on these damn things. my feet are sliding all over the place." she just laughed and gestured me back to the ship.

"unnamed planet" was fun and interesting, but earth would be a welcome familiarity. the trip back started off fairly uneventfully. as we drew closer to earth, however, i came to the realization that our coordinates were off and we were going to completely miss earth. a panic washed over us as earth came and earth went. we continued nearing the sun with not enough fuel to stop and reverse our path back toward our beloved home planet. although the ship was shielded, the heat was getting unbearable. milos' mom advised that we'd have to remove our spacesuits. this scenario would normally be a pleasing situation (especially for joke making), but right now, it was simply a matter of life or death. just as it seemed that we'd surely be destroyed by the blinding star we were hurtling toward, i saw a possible solution to our problem. i scrambled on the ship's computer system and slammed on the thrusters. the day was ours... i had caught an orbit around mercury. as we swung back home i glanced over at an already unconscious, naked milos' mom. i had to chuckle as i followed suit and passed out.

i awoke to the vicious shaking of our ship plummeting toward earth's surface. milos' mom grabbed my arm and spun me around. we darted for the escape pod and blasted from the side of the shuttle. as the spacecraft slammed into the ocean it created a huge tidal wave [insert your own tsunami joke here... too soon?] which crashed several boats (including a parked oil tanker) into a pier at a nearby harbor. milos' mom and i splashed into the oily waters only moments later. as we landed just outside the harbor, the pod was punctured by a large piece of floating debris. the escape pod's hatch popped open with steam still fizzing up around us, and we both dove from the now sinking hunk of metal. in our exhausted state, the swim to shore was incredibly daunting. when i finally touched sand, i rolled over on my back and then turned my head to see milos' mom laying on the beach as well. she was covered in black oil... as was i.

as i walked over to milos' mom, i noticed a partially intact wooden crate. i passed by the crate and saw that my name was on it. "holy crap!" i pulled a lifeless rooster from broken crate. "never tell me the odds," i quoted to myself after realizing it was the farm bird i had ordered early that morning. as i walked up to milos' mom holding the dead beast, i remembered that rigor mortis wouldn't occur that soon after death. "the creature must've died on the boat ride here." i smiled thinking i could maybe get my money back. then i remembered that i was incredibly rich, and my smile grew larger. about to drop the feathered carcass onto the sand, i noticed milos' mom attempting to wipe the oil off of herself, so i tossed her the bird. she shrugged and began wiping herself down with poultry. in all the mess of the hectic splashdown, i hadn't even noticed that she and i were still naked. "i'll go find us some clothes," i said as i walked off.

back in the living room of my newly acquired mansion, milos' mom sat and munched on a pizza i had ordered. i went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. as i set the drink down, i noticed my sea-people aquarium had leaked all over the counter. i analyzed the container and found a fairly large crack on the side. "well that sucks. sorry little guys." i grabbed another glass and poured what was left of the fluid in. when i turned back around from tossing the broken sea-people container in the garbage, milos' mom had taken a seat at the kitchen bar. she gave me one of those day-dreamy, half smiling, almost laughing, relieved, "this was amazing, but let's never do it again" sort of looks. i smirked and rolled my eyes back at her, contemplating the day's absurd events. when i focused back on her, i saw she had the sea-people in her hands. i watched, but in my daze, i could do nothing to stop it. i cringed as she finished off the little ecosystem contained in that half a glass. she made a scrunched face and asked, "is this water salty or am i still tasting the ocean?" "you just drank sea-monkeys," i cautiously replied and pushed my glass of fresh water over to her, "here."

after a gagging trip to the bathroom, she met me at the front door. i gave her a coat and apologized about the sea-people and the rest of the day's events. she told me that she had a good time regardless. i asked if she had finally named her planet. "i don't want to change the name completely because it will confuse people, but i was thinking... all the planets are named after gods or goddesses. personally, i'm partial to greek deities instead of roman ones, and my favorite goddess is hera. i think i'll name it 'heranus'." i laughed and told her, "that is just as good, if not better." she kissed me on the cheek and walked over to the fluttering chopper. i shut the door and felt a new found respect for milos' mom. through thick and thin, she was polite, cheerful, and fun to be around. i plopped down on the couch and threw a movie on my 100+ inch plasma screen.

the next day i awoke to another ringing. thinking i was still in my old apartment, i swung my arm over to get the phone, but instead smashed a priceless lamp to the floor. i finally found the phone and snarled, "didn't we already do this yesterday?" "excuse me, action jake?" the voice replied. "yes!" i barked back. he instructed me to turn on the tv and check out the news. the next words i'd hear would be completely believable. he calmly stated, "you are being sued for destroying all of that harbor property and harming the local wildlife." i paused. "screw it. take it all," and i hung up the phone. just as i was about to kill the power on the television, i saw an all too familiar face come on. milos' mom was being interviewed about the whole thing. she told them everything that had happened and made me sound like some insensitive, rich bastard. i clicked the big button, and the tubeless screen went instantly black. it was time for one last ride in the helicopter, and i'd be right back to where i started.

conclusion:
i would've liked to recap the events in a well mannered and respectful fashion. it would've been nice to review milos' mom last night in polite and inoffensive way. but after watching her sell me out on national tv, i can no longer do that.

...so here's the real conclusion: i took milos' mom, slapped her cooter, spit on heranus, let her rub my stiff cock all over her oily, naked body, and then watched her drink a glass of my sea-men last night. oh snap!

suck on that, milos' mom.

gingivitis beware

topic: the toothbrush... as a weapon

sorry that i've been slacking lately, but i have been kind of busy. during the course of moving this weekend, i noticed just how grizzled my toothbrush was. i usually don't buy new toothbrushes that often because i just wind up wearing through them really fast, but i figured i would have to soon. in honor of my soon-to-be-deceased toothbrush i decided to write a little something.

while most people don't think of it that way, the toothbrush has been a weapon for thousands of years. there are records dating back to 3000 BC of egyptians (those egyptians... what will they think of next) using frayed branches to clean their teeth. how does that make it a weapon? just ask mr. tartar and ms. plaque; they are feeling its wrath. of course people may also find it useful as a weapon against other people or a mercedes benz perhaps. with a sleek plastic design, the toothbrush can be wielded with precision for both throwing and melee attacks. while the toothbrush is rather light and blunt, modifications can be made to offer more severe strikes. if the plastic is shaved, it can be easily made into a shiv (keep that in mind, all you prisoners out there). a skilled martial arts master can use the toothbrush to hit various pressure points, incapacitating the victim or worse. even the lazy and untrained attacker can use the toothbrush to scrape the eyeballs of an opponent or even gouge them out. one of the more sophisticated vibrating toothbrushes may also make for a much more dangerous tool in the hands of an evil doer. these toothbrushes, however, have a good deal more weight to them, thus slowing the strikes of the attacker. also a power toothbrush has a finite battery life, so in an extended battle, the power brush may eventually become the weaker weapon. an electrically savvy person may, however, be able to modify the power brush into an extremely damaging toy (delivering electrical shocks, etc). in respect to the throwing of a brush, i have experience with that first hand... i have been hit; it is both insulting and bewildering. the toothbrush itself was more of an annoyance than a threat directly, but that was due to the fact that it was obviously in unqualified hands. in return, i wielded an attitude more dangerously and effectively, proving that it is not entirely the weapon, but also the person holding it.

conclusion:
though it may not stand up directly to a sword or a gun, a toothbrush can still be used as a weapon. in fact, a toothbrush can be dangerous without even intention of harm (i've scraped my gums before and definitely gotten some good bleeding). the toothbrush... um... eh... screw it. look, i know i've basically said a bunch of good things about the toothbrush as a tool for destruction so far, but the truth is: most people are not capable of using it as an effective weapon. i'm not sure if you know this, but most villains aren't cavity creeps. although a toothbrush may save your life in a fight one day, its true place is in your mouth... in the bathroom. next time anyone thinks about tossing one of these bristled warriors at a car or person, they should think about what it is they are doing (starving ethiopians would die to use that discarded cosmetic to brush the hunger off of their teeth). really, it's just silly... i mean at least use a razor; they are cheaper and might actually hurt somebody. if you think a toothbrush would be a good offensive weapon... i disagree; i think that it would just be offensive.

little kids are probably smarter than me

topic: Anthology of Poetry by Young Americans

this is the first suggested review i'm doing. although it wasn't the first suggestion, i read the poems and immediately had comments on the art of these little squirts. the youth of america deserves an out for their troubles regarding politics, life goals, and dinner time. in turn, i deserve an out for my inability to write poetry better than a ten year old. so guess what kids... you best sit down and grab some q-tips, because you're about to get an ear full.

poems:
IF I...

If I were a flower
I would be red
And soft as a bed.
My name wouldn't be
Fred or Ted.
My face would be bright
I would never fight or
turn out a light
If I were a flower.

Nicole Forlani, age 10

well nicole, i have to admit, i was a little thrown off by the title; i thought this was going to be a poem about what would be the consequence of different if's. unfortunately, it was only about you being a flower. just like a flower, your poem is both pretty and pretty boring. also, line 8 struck me as odd... i mean, i know flowers can't do that and all, but i'm not sure of the significance (unless you are saying that as a flower you would not conserve electricity). sorry nicole, thumbs down... unless of course you are related to claire forlani, in which case i'll be needing her phone number for my friend big pete.

Relay Races are the Best
Having fun from East to West
Being silly with my team
Trying hard to get ice cream
I hope I don't fall on my face
And put my team in last place.

Kylene Simpson, age 10

it sounds as though kylene has a problem using a compass, because most relay races i know of usually change direction or follow a track in the shape of a circle or an oval. although she may have been relay racing around the globe from east to west; i don't know that she wasn't. she also may have meant that there was a physical or geographical boundary in which the fun took place, and that the fun spanned the entire location. direction aside, i completely understand her plight, and i also share her vision of ice cream. this basically sounds like the story of my spring break this year. you seem to know what is important in life, and i commend you for that, kylene.

EARTH

Earth is where we live,
Earth is where we eat our food,
Earth is where we breathe out air (oxygen),
Earth is the only place with an atmosphere,
So, if we keep destroying it we won't last
five minutes without air,
Yah, we have NASA's and other space stations
BUT,
how long will the air supply last?
NOT FOREVER, that's for sure!
SO TAKE CARE OF IT OR WE WILL DIE!

Bryan Armentrout, age 11

thank you, bill nye the science guy. unfortunately, you seem to have missed the episode where he explains that earth is not the only planet with an atmosphere (it is just the only planet we know of with an atmosphere capable of supporting human life). also, we only have one nasa, and it's not a space station (it is the national aeronautics and space administration). of course, you probably didn't realize that we don't breathe out oxygen either, we breathe it in (oxygen - in; carbon dioxide - out). i was thinking about making a joke about the music of air supply (maybe a family guy quote), but i realized that i no longer wanted to. look bryan, i respect your main point and love your final line, but i just have a few words of advice for you: stay in school.

I LOVE SCHOOL

School is a good place to be.
Of course, of course, or course you see.
It is better than a bunny,
Oh yes, oh yes, I love it of course you can see.
School is important to me!

Amanda Darlington, age 7

this poem picks up where bryan left off. however, the extreme opposite side of any spectrum is usually creepy. i'm not sure why amanda loves school so much. her lack of specifics leads me to believe that this poem is basically just an attempt to suck-up to the teacher. in fact the only slightly descriptive sentence in the piece is about a bunny, and what the hell does that mean anyway. school is better than a bunny? bunnies everywhere are insulted. amanda, i'm glad you have such love inside of you, but i think you might be just a bit misdirected.

YUCK

I sat down to supper. My mom called me up.
'Hurry up Taylor,' it's time to sup'.
I went to the kitchen. I sat down to eat.
But, my mom cooked me something that wasn't a treat.
Lima beans! Lima beans! Do I hate them? Yes!
So, I spit them out and I made a mess.

J. Taylor Wolfe, age 7

nice use of colloquial sup', and the piece is very witty. unfortunately the first line doesn't make sense; he sat down to supper before anything else actually happened. unless he sat down to supper initially in the wrong place, he wouldn't have done it twice. other than that, i had no problems with the work, and i too, hate lima beans. j. taylor wolfe has the makings of a young shel silverstein... keep up the good work (but next time, proofread).

Meatloaf
Wrote a song
At their house
On a rainy day
For his girlfriend.

Tabathe Osbeck, age 12

wow. i don't know if this is poetry or trivia; i'd have to know more about meatloaf to really determine that. i'm not sure what you are getting at, tabathe, but maybe that's why i'm not getting paid to do these reviews. either way, their... his... i'm not sure which grade you learn the rules for pronouns, but it's not soon enough. however, you apparently did learn prepositions already (judging by the last three lines). you may want to learn to use more than one sentence. my advice: save the money you're spending on meatloaf albums and go buy a grammaticon.

SOMEDAY

Someday I hope to be a star,
Hopefully someday soon.
Someday I'll make a lot of money,
And be a rich tycoon.
Someday is not too far away,
And when it comes, I bid,
That I will be very successful,
But for now I'll be a kid.

Sara Marks, age 12

i'll assume that you mean a movie star, tv star, etc and not the celestial body. however, in either case it would seem as though you have either multiple goals of being a star and tycoon (which by definition is a wealthy businessperson or industrialist) or you just want money and don't care how you get it. karl (with the trendier spelling of your last name) would be disappointed in your capitalism. i do like the last three lines; the bid and kid rhyme is pleasant and understated. the repetition is also tastefully done. your childhood goals are typical and petty, but structurally your writing is excellent. someday try making it a bit more personal and creative... that's more my style.

I was lying in bed one night, when a
little man came out of site.
'Which way did he go, which way did he go!' he said.
'That way!' I said, pointing west from my bed.
Then he came across a whale, and said,
'Which way did he go, which way did he go!'
'That way!' said the whale, pointing north
with his tail.
Then he came across a lion
but he just said,
'Don't bother me, I'm crying.'
Then he came across a spotted leopard,
he didn't know so he asked the shepherd.
The shepherd said, 'He went to
the palace of Death Soul Rivers,
he plans to hide out in the cave of Dead Livers.'
So he went to the palace of Death Soul Rivers,
and cautiously entered the cave of Dead Livers.
Then he opened the door and what did he see,
a chest full of jewels, and a golden key!
He took the key and opened the door,
and out came a monster shouting,
'Who dares enter this door!',
and snatched him and ate him.
MUNCH MUNCH, ROAR!

Cristine Clossin, age 8

now this piece i can relate to; it also leaves much to the imagination. brilliant use of confusion regarding who the little man was actually following (unless of course you were confused when writing it). i found only two problems grammatically: the little man would've come into sight not come out of sight, and who dares enter this door is actually a question (although because he's shouting it, that one is debatable). all in all, it is a great story; i was entertained and touched. well played cristine... well played.

NEWS FLASH

Constant battles, raging wars
even on the ocean floors.
Guns and bombs, missles too
Country to country, me to you,
To solve wars, or to make peace?
When will these troubled times cease?
Another person died today,
Another person died today,
Another person ran away.
Who cares anymore? You die if you choose,
This stuff is just old news.
Million dollar contracts,
Promises to save the past.
These are the facts
With golden plaques.
This is news,
You can't choose.
Everything else is ocean blues.

Sally Wheeler, age 12

this poem is very political for a twelve year old; that i respect. unfortunately, sally, i'm not a fan. you need to learn some new rhymes besides news and choose. personally, i also wouldn't have used ocean again at the end of the poem, despite the near symetry. i did like the line country to country, me to you and the repetition of another person died today which were both smart and effective. essentially, you've got great concepts, but you need to find a thesaurus.

WHERE I WANT TO LIVE!

The Yukon is the place for us!
That's where I want to live.
Up there we get to yell and cuss,
And act all primitive.

We'll never have to go to school,
Forced into submission,
By monstrous crabby teachers who'll
Make us learn addition.

Bradlee Allen Kepley, age 12

i love the submission and addition rhyme; it cracks me up 60% of the time, everytime. bradlee, this is a great dream, and i hope you one day accomplish your goal. just know that it isn't all fun and games up in the yukon. it's cold, and people die, ok. maybe you are too young to understand this, but i got cancer there. yea, that's right... right there on the yukon trail. get a grip, man.

to be or not to be

topic: life vs. death

this is my first review, so i figured i'd go all out. i was contemplating just reviewing life, but i figured that a comparison review would be more fun to start with.

life:
no one will argue against life having at least some perks. if it weren't for life, the universe would be a barren wasteland of worlds moving only according to physics and the most interesting parts would be the layout of all and climates of each of these balls of matter. of course, there would be nothing there even capable of being intrigued by these aspects of planets and solar systems. life is necessary for this blog to even exist. well, i guess one can argue that there does exist an extremely remote possibility that through the randomness of nature a grouping of specific elements and energy might form together to create a computer with this blog stored in memory, but it wouldn't have meaning or actually be called a blog. essentially, i see no reason why life would not be good. without life, there is no emotion, no dreaming, no desire, and no reason. without life, there would also be no violence, no hate, no depression, and no other "loss" what-so-ever. however, it is just silly to say that a lack of life would solve those problems, because it is life that determines them as "problems" and creates the values that oppose those "problems". for example: although destruction as we know it would still exist through natural disasters, those natural disasters could not be considered destructive or disasters or even natural - they would just be things that occur. concepts like disaster and destruction are based on a loss of life or valued objects, and the concept of something being natural is simply a distinction of origin that could not exist since everything would happen because of "nature" or essentially the physics of the universe.

many of the things that we can attribute to life are also pleasant things. most importantly is the ability of certain living things (like animals) to find things pleasant. the ability a creature has to enjoy things is arguably the best facet of life. once again this blog could not exist without such an ability. life (indirectly) offers me the chance to give a value of more or less "good" to objects, experiences, etc... realizing that, i must enjoy that which graces me with the power of enjoying.

death:
life brings about death, and death cannot occur without life. we know that something first must have life in order to have death. we also assume that something that has life will eventually have death; though the reason we believe that now is simply because we have no proof otherwise. one could argue that the universe has a life but since it is infinite, cannot have a death. that would then be a metaphorical usage of life and death or at the very least alternate definitions of each which i am not reviewing at the present time. as stated earlier, i could not place value on something without life (even if i were a plant and had no brain to form concepts or "values" i would still basically "value" life with my adaptations and instinctive attempts to stay alive and reproduce as best i can). in turn, i would not be able to value life without death. therefore, the value of death essentially becomes the value of life. thus, they both become good. this is where the review becomes tricky.

at this point we need to weigh the benefits and drawbacks of an individual death. to those around a person who dies, the outcome is almost entirely negative. of course there are always exceptions such as a person acquiring something that the one who died used to have - thus making that other person's life better. a positive may also come for someone who hated or was being hurt by the person that died. for the sake of argument though, we will sum up the gross overall outcome on others as a negative. many people have religious beliefs regarding death and an afterlife (or something similar). often a pleasing environment or scenario awaits a person in his/her afterlife. some people also believe that they might get the chance to start over in a new life. these options can sometimes be considered better than a person's current situation. a large portion of the people that believe in an afterlife usually don't think that a bad experience will necessarily happen to them once they die. in a case where that person is wrong, then death would obviously be a bad thing for them. for those that do believe that they will be harmed in an afterlife, the time spent worrying about such an occurrence, would be wasted. if this time of unhappiness is very great in comparison to their lifespan, and their philosophy on death was wrong... death may come as a sweet release. there are also those that believe there is nothing once dead; that when something dies, it is simply ended. this makes a forced neutral experience for the one dying, since that person can no longer experience anything (positive or negative). all in all, besides a few perks here and there, a death is mostly a negative experience.

conclusion:
although both life and death basically have equal value, the act of living is almost always much better for all involved than the act of dying. also despite the value being about equal, in both cases we are actually valuing life anyway. hands down... life wins.